Divinations.

Somehow today is different than any other days I’ve had. Today I feel like I can’t control my emotions better than most of the time. What’s going on?

I think I took too much caffeine today. It’s keeping me awake but my mind is asleep. And my common sense too. 

Damn.

Gonna try and sleep now.

I wonder what is scarier.

Fearing that people don’t like you, or fearing that you’ve been on the wrong side all along because of that.

I really hate it whenever people make last minute decisions. I mean, come on, you already know the circumstance but you still choose to change your mind so late. If you had doubts, why didn’t you say it earlier? And for the record, I don’t care if the rest can make it. Good for them, but if its my grades at stake obviously I have to think about myself, even for just a little while. For fucks sake, I’m getting pissed, even though I know I shouldn’t. I just hope everything will be okay after this.

Is it really that hard to just, you know, reply?

2011 has been, by far, the best year for me. People may reminisce about how easy things were when they were younger, but I like to look forward, no matter how much I can be head over heels with nostalgia. This is the year I’ve discovered myself. I realized that I’m no longer that fumbling, messed up kid I was. To be honest, I have always thought of myself as that kid, despite my age leveling up. There may be my bouts of maturity but I’ve always felt under that skin of the same boy who screwed up every day and was always insecure, 24/7. That is gone. I feel good. Sure, I can feel insecure at times, but that’s regular. I think God has really shaped me this year. 

Every year it seems like there will be at least one day where I will make a mistake so colossal that I’ll feel shitty for days. This year is an exception. I feel great. 

2012 is approaching. I have yet to start exercising, which is one thing I must start on. NS is coming. I think I’ll be enlisting in June. No concrete date, but I know I’m going in during that period for sure. It might be scary, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a path I have to take in order to grow and move forward. 2011 was just a warm-up.

Anyway, here’s a toast to 2011. You were great.

I think this new culture of ‘don’t hate, appreciate’ is causing people to scratch the surface of important issues. Case in point: the recent MRT breakdowns.

I know we are all human, but that doesn’t mean we can let fly every mistake someone makes. SMRT has been screwing up time and time again, with three major train breakdowns this week alone. 

Among the sea of complaints and criticisms towards SMRT emerge an opinion of cutting SMRT some slack, calling everyone to look upon themselves and asking if they’ve been appreciating the trains when they were fully operational.

Look, I’ve always been appreciative of the public transport offered here in Singapore. Sure, they’ve increased the fares and they have yet to offer student fares for poly and private students, but I’ve always loved how easy it is for me to get around here, despite Singapore being a tiny island. My school is really far from my house, and the recent extension of the Circle Line has made me more convenient for me to get there. 

However, when there has been not one, not two, but THREE major train breakdowns in a single week, there is obviously an underlying problem within SMRT. There are people out there condemning others for complaining about these problems. I get it, you want to fight against the ‘hate’. I’m not looking down on you. I think you have a valid point. But I just don’t think you’re seeing the full picture.

Firstly, SMRT wanted to increase the fares. Despite the cries of many (including myself), we thought at least the money will go towards building better trains, train-tracks etc. But alas, it doesn’t seem to be the case. 

Secondly, I know there are other people out there who agree that the problem of overcrowding in public transport could be one of the causes of the recent breakdowns. This is a problem that NEEDS to be transmitted to the government. It can’t be ignored anymore. When I take the East-West Line in the afternoon on my way to school, the trains are STILL crowded.

In conclusion, I understand. I know you hate seeing complaints everywhere. I am all about positivity and appreciating all the things we have, but SMRT, enough is enough. Get your shit together.